


"Dinner At the Manor" -- Deprivation Side Fic

by Darkprism



Series: Monoshizukanohi [16]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adult Situations, Cat Fights, Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-12 19:58:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11744109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkprism/pseuds/Darkprism
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto join Kimimaro, Haku, and Itachi for dinner at the Uchiha Manor. Takes place after Deprivation main arc.





	"Dinner At the Manor" -- Deprivation Side Fic

"I don't understand horror movies," Haku said, quiet with introspection. He lay on the wide, sectional sofa curled on his side with his head in Uchiha Itachi's lap. Itachi's long fingers almost absently stroked through Haku's thick, dark hair. 

"How do you mean?" asked Kimimaro, matching Haku's tone. He didn't want to speak too loudly and risk disturbing Master's enjoyment of the film that played on the TV taking up most of the opposite wall. Kimimaro rested with his back against Itachi's other side, whose arm was draped over Kimi's bare chest. Sometimes Itachi's fingers flexed and traced patterns over Kimi's stomach.

A muffled scream filled the air, and on screen a gagged and bound woman hanging from a metal hook woke up and realized she was captured. Itachi crossed his ankles, denim-clad legs straight ahead of him and resting on an ottoman.

"The directors always depict waking up restrained as frightening," Haku explained, and Itachi chuckled.

"I suppose it would be scary for her; she's a cop and it's the killer who has her," Kimimaro countered.

"But doesn't she understand that jerking around like that won't do any good? Those knots are obviously made to tighten under pressure." Haku sighed, put-out with Hollywood.

"I don't believe you're the typical audience for the genre, lovely boy," Itachi murmured.

"Thank you, My Lord," Haku said politely. Then, irritated again, "That gag's so loose, you could work it out with your tongue."

"Haku, you're putting too much reality into fantasy," Kimimaro said, trying to enjoy the thrill of the slow-pan shot of the killer's shoes coming down the stairs. God but he loved the sound of Master's feet coming closer when he was bound. Even better when he was blindfolded and couldn't see the approach. Kimimaro shivered as it showed the knife in the bad guy's hand.

"Oooh," Haku sighed in delight.

"Knives," Kimimaro said wistfully.

"I hope he gets to play a little before she shoots him," Haku said.

Itachi shook, and Kimimaro had a second to be concerned before Master threw his head back and laughed, the mirth in the noise startling both Kimi and Haku; making them jump.

"Oh, my perfect boys. How I do love you." Itachi hugged Kimimaro closer and clasped Haku's shoulder.

"As we love and serve you," Haku and Kimimaro said, almost in unison. They glanced at one another, and Kimi winked at Haku, who flashed a grin and snuggled closer to Itachi. Kimimaro leaned into Master again, and he sighed as Itachi's hand idly wandered down, fingertips circling his navel.

The three men lounged in the den of the master chambers in Itachi's estate, the two sets of pocket doors blocking all external light. Leftover pizza sat forgotten in a box on the ottoman near Itachi's bare feet. Two pairs of leather cuffs lay on one end of the long sofa. The crystal balls and eyes of the small stuffed animals that sat in between the DVDs on the shelving around the TV gleamed in the light thrown by the screen. Kimimaro watched the woman kick the killer in the face and hugged Itachi's arm tighter. 

This was home: wrapped around him, breathing against him, providing Kimimaro with everything he could imagine and more. The two months that Kimi and Haku had been with Master Itachi were worth lifetimes of suffering, and when Haku shifted to stretch and Itatchi made a quiet sound of affection, Kimimaro smiled and turned his head to kiss Itachi's sleeve.

"Haku. Hit pause." Itachi's voice was gentle, and dutifully Haku reached for the remote and paused the movie.

"I believe we'll have to wait and see how she vanquishes the enemy," Itachi mused, turning to breathe deeply of Kimimaro's hair. 

"Time to get ready, then, Master?" Kimimaro asked.

"Mm," Itachi agreed. "I fear so, yes." None of the men moved from the cozy entanglement.

"We will endeavor not to disappoint you in front of your brother and his partner, My Lord," Haku said. 

Itachi snorted -- a very un-Uchiha sound -- and then sighed. Kimimaro rested his cheek on Itachi's shoulder, nuzzling.

"Go then," Itachi said, resigned. "And dress comfortably; it's only Sasuke and Naruto, after all."

"As you like, so shall we obey," Kimimaro said as he got to his feet. Haku followed suit, but both men stopped as Itachi grabbed their wrists and pulled them back down. Haku giggled, and Itachi kissed his smile until the noise turned into a low sound of want. Kimimaro was next, dark eyes meeting his before Itachi's mouth claimed, dove, and delved. 

"Good boys," Itachi said, voice level as he let go. "See you in a bit."

Kimimaro longed for more of that mobile mouth, but he dutifully nodded and Haku followed as Kimi turned to leave. The kisses were small rewards -- for existence, for obedience, for pleasing Master -- and warmth filled Kimimaro and made his steps lighter as he slid open the pocket door that led into the master bedroom. Itachi believed strongly in positive reinforcement; especially when both Kimi and Haku viewed time under whip, cane, or lash as something desirable, not terrifying. There was very little "punishment" in the Uchiha household, and Itachi's rewards were varied and tailored. Instead of fear, doubt, or anguish that came all too often in Kimimaro and Haku's prior experiences as slaves, there were kisses, touches, gifts, glances, and complicated Scenes designed to fulfill need and fantasy alike. 

Kimimaro recalled one night when Haku made dinner for the three of them. After they'd eaten, Itachi led Kimi and Haku into a sitting room. They lit a fire, Itachi sat in a chair and had Haku strip and sit backward in his lap. He draped Haku's legs over the chair arms and slowly stroked and pleasured him until Haku was a whimpering, aching mess. Kimimaro watched on his knees, back to the fire, until Itachi gestured for him to come closer.

"Take him until you come, sweet boy," Itachi had commanded and thus Kimi had obeyed. Itachi held Haku while Kimimaro brought them both to a fast ending, and Itachi's words and whispers of praise made them shiver almost as hard as the culminating orgasms.

Pleasure was abundant, and the dominance games were constant but subtle. It was a mix that kept Kimimaro and Haku very happily on their toes and delightedly in their place. In the mornings, Itachi would awaken Kimimaro with gentle touches and then a slow entry into his body. If Kimi happened to wake up first, he lay in the wide, warm bed and waited. It was his duty, his pleasure, his desire.

Haku usually woke last of the three, and would crawl closer, watching and waiting. Sometimes Itachi would have Kimimaro hold Haku and stroke them both, though more often Itachi would withdraw from Kimi and take Haku; have them switch positions. On rarer days, Itachi would ask Kimi to hold and make love to Haku while Itachi moved within Kimimaro. The specific scenarios changed like phases of the moon, but there was one rule: Kimi and Haku were not to come. 

"I love waking up and knowing you both belong to me; that you both want to be in my arms so I may show you my affection."

Itachi always said the words, and they never ceased making Kimi and Haku moan. Sleepily, Itachi praised beauty and subservience. More seriously he would compliment individuality and strength. Kimimaro never felt more alive and with such purpose as he did in Master's arms, held and willingly taken and kept by Master's very being. When Itachi was done reminding Kimi and Haku of their places in Itachi's heart and life, he would finish. Ending methods changed, but Master's sigh of completion held both Kimi and Haku still and accepting of sustained arousals as they collected themselves. Then Kimimaro and Haku would follow Itachi and prepare for the day in companionable chatter. 

Master was thoughtful, kind, and undeniable; made of stone walls, silk screens, and fallen embers. Kimimaro and Haku were quick studies in Itachi's rules and desires; they found him easy to obey, deserving of all he asked and more. They'd never met a Master quite like Itachi, and in the dark hours of the night, sometimes Kimimaro would wake up and find Haku watching Itachi sleep. Kimi and Haku would exchange looks, hold hands, and speak volumes of gratitude, good luck, amazement, and tenderness. Itachi slept better now, far deeper, and when Kimimaro and Haku would stroke his hair or hold him between them, he merely sighed and slumbered.

"Coming?" Haku asked, taking Kimimaro's hand. 

"Hm?" Kimi realized he'd stopped in the middle of the bedroom to stare at the enormous, carved bed where all three men slept in a tangled knot of contentment. He ducked his head, sheepish. "Sorry, yes…"

Haku smiled at Kimi before proceeding down the hallway that led to the bathroom, closet, and hidden door to their room. The Mistress Quarters, as they were once so called, were accessible through a hidden panel next to a wall sconce. Haku opted to hang a mirror on the panel; both to mark it and to make him feel, as he said, a little like Alice.

"What's distracting you?" Haku asked, pushing the correct side of the wall until they heard the quiet click. Silently, the mirror and door swung inward, revealing a dark vestibule with more mirrors. It made Kimimaro dizzy.

"Happiness," Kimimaro answered as Haku pressed the ancient lever on another door and swung it open to reveal a sitting room with sweeping bay windows overlooking Itachi's rose garden maze. The flowers were dormant, now, but come spring Itachi promised long hours of tending thorn and bloom. Kimimaro looked forward to it.

"Mm," Haku hummed, walking through the seating area and into the large, round bedroom beyond. There was a study off the bedroom, along with a bathroom half the size of Itachi's and a small closet. Haku had borrowed armoires from various parts of the house to hold his and Kimimaro's clothing, and he threw open a set of antique oak doors. He clucked his tongue and began casting aside garments. Kimimaro went to a bureau and yanked open a drawer.

"Worried that the younger Uchiha will somehow disturb that happiness?" Haku asked, mildly, as he grumbled to himself. The sound of hanger on pole grew louder as Haku discarded options of what to wear for the evening.

"Should I be?" Kimimaro asked, pulling out a pair of nicer jeans.

Haku cocked an eyebrow. "You have met Sasuke, yes?"

"He's not that bad, Haku," Kimimaro said, stepping out of his silk pants. He paused, wondering if he should shower again.

"Just shave," Haku said, answering the internal debate for Kimi. "And he's bad enough to worry Itachi."

"How so?"

Haku shrugged, removing a deep purple turtleneck that fell to Haku's knees. He looked at it skeptically before laying it over a chair. "Sasuke and Itachi are recently reconciled. I believe our lord is concerned about his opinion of us. About Itachi owning us."

"What business is it of Sasuke's?" Kimimaro asked.

"It's not," Haku patiently explained, beginning to strip out of his own silk pants. Master enjoyed them barely clad and accessible when confined to the bedroom chambers. "But Sasuke's the kind of person who would make it his business."

Kimimaro followed Haku into their shared bathroom, pausing at one of the dual sinks. "You think he disapproves?"

"I worry that Sasuke won't enjoy his brother's reprieve from solitude." 

"But Itachi's happy," Kimimaro said stubbornly, grabbing razor and gel and turning on the hot water. He took a second to envy Haku's laser treatments that rendered his facial hair thin and slow to grow.

Haku turned, and his expression softened. "Kimimaro, I love your undivided and uncomplicated loyalties. Have I said this today?"

Kimi smiled. "Not today."

"Then I love you." Haku closed the distance between them and stood on tiptoe to kiss Kimimaro. It lingered for seconds longer than a chaste kiss should, and Kimi sighed when Haku pulled away. 

"I love you, too. And you're sure we don't have time for a shower?" Kimi asked, transparent. They were allowed all the kissing, embracing, teasing, or sexual anything they liked or could tolerate in one another's arms so long as orgasms were found with Master watching, present, or involved.

Haku bit his lip, kissed Kimi again, and shook his head. "I rather not be in such a state when company's coming."

"Point," Kimimaro conceded. 

"Or lack thereof?" Haku joked, blinking mock-innocent eyes at Kimimaro, who groaned as he wet his face and began to shave.

"My Lord is happy," Haku said, and Kimi repressed a shiver at the title and the way Haku spoke the words. The first time Haku called Master that during a Scene was the same occurrence wherein Itachi growled and praised Haku for the reverence in his voice. Itachi wasn't picky, however: Master, his name, or his title were all fine options of address.

"I just hope they're far enough along in making their amends that Sasuke can find joy in that fact instead of jealousy or resentment." Haku grabbed eyeliner and began to apply it with deft skill. 

"Isn't he happy with Naruto?" Kimi asked, dragging a razor over one cheek.

"Purported to be. But it's…the principle of the thing, Kimi." Haku tossed down the liner and ran his fingers through his hair, shaking it out and hissing when he caught tangles.

"I understand," Kimimaro said. "But I think you're worrying too much."

"Probably," Haku agreed, brushing the ends of his hair with vigor.

"I like that you do."

Haku smiled at Kimimaro in the mirror. "You should wear the sky blue cashmere with the jeans."

"And the topaz collar?" Kimi asked, voice muffled as he wiped his face clear of excess foam. They had a variety of collars, all gifts from their Lord and Master, who didn't see fit to give them merely  _ one.  _

"Lovely."

They quickly finished getting ready, and Haku insisted on putting a braid in Kimimaro's hair. Kimi let him because Haku seemed nervous, and Kimi massaged Haku's lower back as the smaller man stood and fussed with lengths of pale blond-and-pink hair while Kimi sat in a chair. 

"Can you tell me?" Haku quietly asked before they left to head downstairs. Kimimaro turned to let his eyes rove over Haku: hair back in a low tail, spilling down the back of the silky, long shirt. A chain belt looped about Haku's middle, the tights were black and looked wet, and the low boots had short heels. He wore the collar with the oversized, white-gold chain links with diamond inlays, and Haku managed to make it look regal.

"You're beautiful as always, Haku," Kimi said.

Haku beamed and gave Kimimaro the once-over. "And you look good enough to eat as the entrée."

"Master might let you," Kimimaro quipped as they walked through the rooms, heading for the main hallway on the second flood.

"We could suggest subs for dessert instead of the usual soufflé."

"You realize that means coping with Sasuke." Kimimaro looked down at Haku and saw a positively demonic expression come over the man's face. 

"I think I'd delight in rendering the youngest Uchiha incoherent with my mouth and send him back to his Master wanting."

Kimimaro shook his head, bemused.

The pair meandered through the maze of hallways until they reached the main staircases leading down into the entry hall. Kimimaro took Haku's hand as they descended, and Kimi spotted Merek -- Itachi's head of household staff -- walking with long strides into the room.

"Ah, gentle sirs!" Merek called, voice echoing in the massive, ornate room.

Haku grinned and let go of Kimi's hand to skip down the stairs and meet Merek for a hug. The plain-looking man with a faint British accent returned the embrace. 

"You are a vision, good sir," Merek said to Haku.

"And you are angling for more cookies," Haku returned.

"Ah, you caught me in my shameless attempt to exchange thoroughly honest compliments for baked goods." Merek looked up and winked at Kimimaro. "You two are just in time. Got word from the younger Uchiha's driver that they're pulling through the gates."

Itachi walked into the hall from one of the doors to their right. He wore his usual dark slacks and dress shirt, though Kimimaro recognized it as a deep maroon one that Haku picked out. Itachi's gait slowed as he looked Kimimaro up and down and swiveled his heated gaze to Haku. Merek stepped to the side, gave Itachi a smart bow, and went to the front door. 

"They're here," Itachi said, and Kimimaro walked over to his Master and, after a second's hesitation, took Itachi's hand in a loose hold. Itachi firmed the grip and squeezed, making butterflies flutter in Kimimaro's stomach.

"We serve you, My Lord," Haku said, and Itachi pulled Haku close for a hug, before he let go of both his lovers to walk to the middle of the hall. Kimimaro and Haku flanked him, standing just behind each of Itachi''s shoulders. They stood with feet slightly spread, hands clasped in front of their bodies, and gazes ready to roam so as not to meet eyes.

Merek threw open the front door with a vicious yank -- the thing stuck on a regular basis -- and Kimimaro heard Naruto's cackling laughter and saw Sasuke climbing the wide steps leading to the house. He wore dark jeans, a green t-shirt with silver whirls, and a button-down dress shirt over it. Sasuke's hair was artfully disheveled, his eyes enhanced with liner, and emeralds gleamed from his ears and lip. He held sunglasses in one hand and cocked his hip as he turned to look back over one shoulder. "Are you done?" he called in a bored voice.

More cackling met the question, and Sasuke turned, rolling his eyes. For a split second, Sasuke's expression softened into affection, but the look evaporated like mist. 

"Brother," Sasuke said, chilly and formal as he walked into the hall. Itachi didn't move, so neither did Kimimaro or Haku.

"Sasuke," Itachi said, and Kimimaro ached for the affection in the single word. "So good to see you."

"Naruto's doing his thing with the--"

"I fuckin' love that fountain," Naruto declared, bursting into the house like a misplaced ray of sunshine. He wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket, and next to Sasuke he looked like the help. 

"More fish?" Itachi asked, stepping closer to the pair, and as a unit the three men approached Sasuke and Naruto. The blond man wrapped an arm around Sasuke, who tucked his sunglasses into his shirt and rolled his eyes again.

"Just a few," Naruto answered with a grin. 

Kimimaro worked to school his smile, as he didn't understand why Naruto felt the need to fill the dry fountain in front of the house with wind-up plastic fish, but he knew it amused Master, and, therefore, Kimimaro didn't mind it, either.

"Thank you for the gift, then," Itachi said politely.

Naruto laughed. "Sure, man. I keep waiting for you to kick my ass over it, but hell… anything to liven up the Adam's Family house." Naruto offered his hand to Itachi, who took it. 

"Good to see you, 'tachi." Naruto looked at Kimimaro and Haku, and Kimi kept his gaze somewhere around Naruto's collar. "And your new family, here. Kimimaro, Haku…" 

Kimimaro offered a bow, Haku curtsied, and Sasuke blew air through his teeth in a hiss. "So I see the rumors are absolutely true."

"Sometimes the mill grinds to the good, Sasuke," Itachi said. "And I told you as much when we scheduled dinner."

Kimimaro shot a cautious glance at Haku, saw the tightness along his shoulders, and silently fretted.

"So this isn't a phase, then, brother?" Sasuke said with a sneer, and Kimimaro's teeth clenched. 

"Sas, don't start," Naruto said without looking at his partner, voice firm.

Itachi waved a hand. "It's all right, Naruto. No, Sasuke… my lifestyle choice is not a phase. Much as your own choices have lasted --" Kimimaro took note that Itachi pointedly did not look at Naruto as he said that -- "so shall mine."

Sasuke made sullen into an art form, and Itachi inclined his head. "Now then, Kimimaro? Haku? Please feel free to act and do as you will tonight."

"Yeah, for fuck's sake, let's relax." Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrist and then hand, leaning over to kiss the pouting man's cheek. "The hell's your problem, Sasuke? You're swelling like a toad in summer."

Kimimaro had a brief second or two to be grateful that Naruto asked the question he was wondering himself, but then Sasuke shook Naruto off and glowered at his brother.

"Let's get one thing straight right now," Sasuke said, dangerously.

"Oh yes, let's," Itachi replied. Kimimaro and Haku inched closer to their Master, and Sasuke shot them both looks like they were insane before concentrating again on Itachi.

"I don't care what you do in your own home--"

"How generous," Itachi interrupted.

"--but you will not,  _ absolutely _ not, come to Break with these two on the same nights Naru and I are there."

Naruto burst into laughter. "Is that seriously what's been up your ass all day? Other than me, I mean." 

Haku actually had to cover a snort with a cough, and Kimimaro smiled. Sasuke ignored them all, eyes on his brother.

"You had no issue with me playing with Inuzuka on the night Hyuuga welcomed me to the club."

"That's Kiba. He plays with everybody--"

"Not anymore," Kimimaro quietly interrupted. 

Sasuke made a frustrated sound. "But more to the point, we'd left by then."

"I see," Itachi mused.

"So are we clear?" 

Itachi tilted his head, and Kimimaro snuck a glance to see the tell-tale lines forming at the corner of Itachi's eye. The lines meant amusement, and Kimimaro let go of a sigh.

"I'm not sure," Itachi murmured. "You wish me to clear my schedule with you, baby brother, on nights that I wish to take my partners to a club at which I have the same status as you and your…" Itachi paused.

"I know," Naruto chimed in, sympathetic. "Word sticks in the throat, huh?" I feel your pain."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, who didn't return the look and wrapped his hand around Sasuke's again.

"Lover?" Itachi finished.

"Yes," Sasuke replied.

"No."

"What?" Sasuke yelped.

Merek cleared his throat from where he stood at the doorway that ultimately led to the private dining room. "Pardon me, gentlemen, but dinner is served."

"Master Naruto?" Haku asked and Naruto looked at Haku, surprise clear on his expressive face.

"Would you mind terribly if I asked you to be my escort through the manor?" Haku asked. Itachi watched the small man with raised eyebrows, and Kimimaro stepped forward to blink at Haku, concerned. 

Until, of course, Kimimaro saw the light dancing in Haku's large, dark eyes. Kimimaro shot a glance at his Master, but found Itachi calm. That soothed Kimi's jangling nerves by degrees, and he stayed quiet.

"Uh, sure?" Naruto said.

"Excuse me?" Sasuke retorted.

"What? He asked nicely." Naruto let go of Sasuke, and Haku smiled his most stunning smile as he linked arms with Naruto. 

"I've been wanting to tell you for some time now that I truly enjoy your late godfather's work."

"You read Jirayia's books?" Naruto asked, stunned.

"I do! They're most entertaining," Haku said, walking slowly from the hall. Itachi followed, hands behind his back and lips playing into a smirk. Sasuke looked murderous. 

"Master Sasuke? May I?" Kimimaro asked, offering his arm.

Sasuke met Kimi's gaze. "This is my family home. Not the goddamned prom." He stalked after his brother, muttering to himself. Taken aback, Kimi cleared his throat and brought up the tail of the party, listening to Naruto's laughter and watching Sasuke's body tense tighter.

The group managed to make it to the dining room without bloodshed and, after a brief round of musical chairs, Haku sat to Itachi's left. Kimimaro held Itachi's seat as the elder Uchiha sat at the head of the table, and then did the same for Naruto and Sasuke, who sat on Itachi's right.

"I've got it," Sasuke said to Kimimaro, one hand on the back of his chair.

Kimimaro blinked, confused as to why in the hell Sasuke was being so rude in front of his Master and family. "Of course you do?" Kimi replied.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair, and Sasuke sank into the chair. Kimimaro moved to take his place next to Haku, trying to shoot the smaller man a look. Haku reached beneath the table and squeezed Kimi's knee, and Kimimaro tried to let that be comforting. However, the expression on Haku's face screamed deviousness, and Kimimaro chewed the metal in his lip. The servants began to bring in dishes, and when Sasuke's wine glass was filled, he drained half of it and gestured for more.

"So, you two live here, now?" Naruto asked when no one said a word for a solid five minutes.

"We do," Haku answered, and Kimimaro nodded.

"And you, erm… how's that going for you?"

"It's wonderful," Haku said with a wistful sigh and sidelong glance at Itachi. "The estate is beautiful."

"It's a haunted, creaky, hovel," Sasuke groused over his soup.

"We don't think so," Kimimaro said.

"Not at all," Haku agreed, dabbing the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Master's home suits us perfectly, as is only natural."

"Natural?" Naruto asked.

Haku nodded, earnest. "Of course. We love Master, and thus it's not so surprising that we enjoy his taste. And, of course, he allows us to stay here under his roof providing luxury beyond compare, so it is only logical that Kimimaro and I are humbled by such an extravagant gift."

Naruto blinked. Itachi chuckled and reached over to clasp Haku's hand, briefly. Sasuke's soup spoon clanked loudly against china before he slumped in his chair, arms crossed.

"Do you not like your soup, Master Sasuke?" Kimimaro asked, understanding Haku's game but not entirely certain he should contribute. He wondered how in the world he always managed to play the part of peacekeeper in their merry threesome. It was so difficult to keep up, and Kimimaro thought himself ill-suited for such a task.

"It's cold," Sasuke muttered.

"Oh," Kimi said, starting to rise. "I can just fetch it away to the--"

"No," Sasuke hissed. Kimimaro sat back down, attempting to look innocently bewildered. It wasn't that difficult, really.

"Goodness," Haku said, daintily spooning his soup. "I find it to be perfection. Master Sasuke, you're so fortunate to have such a delicate palate. I'm sure it means you appreciate the subtle flavors that would be hard to taste with a common tongue."

Sasuke strangled a noise and waved at his brother. "Would you  _ please _ get a handle on that?"

Kimimaro turned to watch Itachi smile, one fist under his chin as he surveyed the table. "I could say the same to your lover."

"Wow," Naruto said loudly. "This soup… I tell you what…" Naruto reached for his wine glass and drank deeply.

"What are you implying?" Sasuke asked Itachi, eyes narrowing.

"Nothing terribly important," Itachi drawled.

"Liar."

"Please," Haku said calmly. "Resorting to name-calling is such a base thing, Master Sasuke. I'm certain that you could manage more elegant pejorative, though I do wish you would refrain from addressing My Lord in such an uncouth manner while partaking of his food at his dinner table."

"And need I remind  _ you _ ," Sasuke said, spine straight and eyes flashing. "That this is also my family's home, that you sit in comfort thanks to efforts made by my father and forefathers, and that it is unseemly to your station as my elder brother's slave to call attention to anything I choose to say?"

Kimimaro's eyes got wide, and he looked at Haku. He whimpered when he saw the cold onyx gaze returning Sasuke's.

"My thanks, then, Master Sasuke," Haku parried, tone light and words swift. "For the reprimand, though I assure you it is quite unnecessary ever to remind me of  _ my _ station, as I accept wholeheartedly and with full contentment my duties to My Lord and Master, whom I only strive to serve well and reflect in good spirit and honor. Never should I desire to stoop so low as to cast doubt of any kind upon his person, name, or standing, and certainly not in front of guests or family."

Kimimaro didn't breathe as Sasuke went paler than usual. The whites of his eyes were clear around the dark brown coloring.

Naruto whistled, eying Haku with a half grin. "'tachi… That one's dangerous."

"Delightfully so," Itachi agreed.

"I live only in the sincere devotion to My Lord's happiness," Haku said reverently before sipping daintily at his wine.

Sasuke's hand formed a fist on the tabletop, and Kimimaro saw him tremble. Naruto sighed, reached over, and yanked Sasuke to his chest in a fierce hug. Kimi winced, waiting to watch Sasuke break a glass over Naruto's head or bite off his nose or something equally destructive, but all Sasuke did was duck his head, arms pinned by Naruto's.

"Baby…" Naruto said before his voice fell to a whisper that Kimimaro couldn't hear. Kimi looked away, uncomfortable. He didn't know if he should high-five Haku beneath the table, beg Master's forgiveness, or get Sasuke an oxygen mask. There was one upstairs in the bedroom with the first aid kit, and maybe--

"Haku…" Itachi rumbled.

Standing up with grace, Haku bowed low, careful to keep his hair out of the food. "My sincere apologies for your distress, Master Sasuke. I will happily make amends if our Masters so choose to deem it necessary."

"Blow me," Sasuke growled. Naruto kissed his hair.

Haku bowed lower. "So should my Master command and yours accept, so shall I dutifully obey."

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Naruto said.

Itachi cleared his throat. "While it's an appealing offer, I believe we will refrain from oral sex until after the main course." Itachi sipped his wine and leaned back in his chair. "Palate cleansing, you know."

Kimimaro struggled to keep a straight face.

"Haku, you may rise and resume your seat."

"Thank you, My Lord." Haku sat.

"Drink your wine, baby," Naruto said to Sasuke, who sat up and grabbed his glass, draining it. Naruto flopped back in his chair, shaking his head. "Never a dull moment at the Uchiha Manor."

"This is quite true," Kimimaro said. Naruto looked at him and winked.

Food was cleared away and served in silence. When it was only the five of them again, Naruto fingered his fork with a pensive gaze. "Itachi, you know how it bugs me to admit Sas is right about anything--"

Sasuke snorted and stabbed his food with a knife. Next to Kimimaro, Haku arched a graceful eyebrow.

"But it might be a good idea to give us some warning when you and your two boys, here, decide to hit up Break."

Itachi considered, mouth moving in a mesmerizing manner as he chewed. "Other than the temptation of the Fetish Ball, I'd not given much thought to Break. Though it would be good at some point to thank the Hyuuga in person."

"Yeah, he got the flowers," Naruto said around his food. "How the hell'd you get twelve dozen black roses?"

"Connections with a good florist and dye."

"Oh. Right." Naruto licked his lips. "Anyway, what do you say?"

"I believe I could issue a warning to my younger brother telling him I plan to play in public without much of a problem, Naruto."

"Thank God," Naruto said in relief. "You've no idea the hell I was in for if you turned me down." He laughed.

"Oh. I have some." Itachi eyed Sauske.

Naruto looked at the younger raven as well, and Kimimaro looked at Haku. Beneath the table, Haku squeezed Kimimaro's leg, and he felt tension unwind from his shoulders as Haku remained quiet, eating.

"And though he'd never fuckin' admit it, he is glad that you're happy," Naruto said.

Sasuke's neck was going to hurt tomorrow if he kept turning it that fast. Kimimaro felt a pang of sympathy.

"Oh?" Itachi asked, and Kimimaro repressed a noise at the naked hope in the single syllable.

All eyes shifted to Sasuke, whose jaw muscle flexed once before he looked at his brother. "It was just sudden," Sasuke said. "You've been alone for so long, and then I had to hear it from someone else that you'd taken these two, and…" Sasuke scowled.

"I should have called you," Itachi admitted.

"Would have been nice." Sasuke managed not to sound too petulant.

"I confess, I'm…" Itachi frowned, and Haku's hand on Kimimaro's leg was the only thing that stopped Kimi from going to Itachi and hugging him.

"Not entirely accustomed to informing you of things."

Sasuke flinched, and Naruto reached to clasp his lover's hand. "It gets easier. Before you know it, you'll be calling Sas here to tell him you saw a good movie or a ghost over in the west wing or something." Itachi inclined his head at Naruto, small smile tugging at his mouth. 

Sasuke sat up. "Then we agree about Break?" he asked Itachi.

"We do."

Seemingly satisfied, Sasuke looked at Naruto, who squeezed Sasuke's fingers and let go. "So," he said, picking up his knife and fork again. "How you two like that ginormous, creepy bed?"

Sasuke threw his fork on his plate, incredulous glare aimed at his partner, and Naruto laughed.

"It's fantastic," Kimimaro answered, smiling.

"Made more wonderful by the things we do therein," Haku added. 

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sasuke hissed, making Naruto laugh harder. 

At the head of the table, Itachi smiled.

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> ∞ I don't know if you've noticed this yet, but I sort of live to watch Sasuke squirm. I'd apologize but so not sorry. Just a bit of a crack fic for fun. Another opportunity to write about my Kinky Dead Man Trio.
> 
> ∞ For all information about Monoshizukanohi that you never knew you wanted to know, click [HERE](http://demented-dee.livejournal.com/12226.html).
> 
> ∞ I don’t own any characters in any fandom; I just entice them into doing things they never thought possible. The originals though, if present, are all mine. I also own the world, Monoshizukanohi, and all the places therein. 
> 
> ∞ Want more? Check out my other stories here or head over to my [Demented-Ink headquarters](https://www.demented-ink.com/). And make sure to stop by [Smoke Signals](https://www.demented-ink.com/smoke-signals) and keep in touch!
> 
> Much light, more love, and many, many baked goods.  
> ♥Dee


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